Why I Want to Drop Marie Kondo Off in a War Zone.

I'm not one to slam a book or an author but every so often, I just can't deal. I've gotta do it. If I start a book, I pretty much always finish it-I feel this disgusting, soul-rotting guilt otherwise. Anyway-I read this book expecting to become some zen minimalist with all sorts of glittering epiphanies along the way-instead, I wanted to smash my nook (at the time that's what I was reading on) into a million pieces. And since apparently the whole world has read this book, I feel that I've got to explain why this book so royally chapped my ass.

1. The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up did not change my life.

The title is misleading. Maybe if you could get past the annoying, choppy, wordy sentences you could really dive into the ridiculous advice, but I couldn't. I kept thinking "oh my god this is written how you talk and if I met you I'd probably rip out my [stunning] eyebrows!" No kan-do, Kondo. You're like Shakespere meets Hemingway in a bar and the Valley. Apparently, you can't edit out annoying.

2. The word "tidy."

It's pretentious. Just say "clean" like everybody else. We'll blame it on the culture barrier, but I just hate the word tidy. Like SO much.

3. You wasteful bish.

As somebody who writes about sustainability pretty regularly, it's really bothersome to read chapter after chapter with her droning on about how thrilled she is at the number of bags of belongings she throws away. Yes, you might not need something, but that doesn't mean you need to throw it out like it's garbage. Sell it! Donate it! Ask a friend if they have any use for it! My friends and I give each other hand-me-down clothes and housewares all the time! Quit bragging about how much stuff you throw away-don't have bought it in the first place!

4. Reality Check

I can't remember the pages/chapter this all took place and I refuse to spend anymore time with this book, but the part where she talks about coming home and thanking her house for doing it's job and then emptying out her whole purse into little containers and bins EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. and then tucking in her purse into a canvas bag and thanking it for working so hard all day, carrying her crap, EVERY. FREAKING. SINGLE. NIGHT...I went apeshit. Sorry y'all, I wanted to punch through a cement wall. People are dying from starvation, lack of water, terrorist attacks, domestic violence, etc. EVERY DAY. Way more detrimental, important things that deserve attention and concern. I REFUSE to tuck in my purse at night and thank it for doing it's job. I bought it, I own it, it will work for me until I give it away or toss it into one of your beloved trash bags, Marie. But I am not going to talk to my purse. Get a grip, Marie.

I have never wanted to drop someone off in a warzone more just to make them realize how absolutely ridiculous they are. Go experience some real problems and then tell me about how folding your socks so they stand up on their own is really worth my time.

So. That's where I'm at. Sorry, not sorry for the rant.


  1. Yes. I both loved the book for the push to edit your belongings and loathed it for its absolute bat shit stupidity in some of the methods she regularly employs. Much MUCH more emphasis should have been placed on donating unwanted items and not repeating the mistake of mindless consumption in the future. Once your place is edited- it's time to get back to important things. This chick's entire life seems to be based on "stuff" and its care.

  2. Bruh, it's okay. It's just cleaning. She's a nice lady. You don't have to take it so personally.


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